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"Brian Huskey, Our Close Friend" is the fourteenth episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

Earwolf Synopsis Edit

Sean and Hayes ring in the new year with a look back at their favorite podcast moments of 2013. Then BRIAN HUSKEY joins the boys for a table read of TEEN POPE, one of Brian’s many scripts currently in development at studios.

Notes & Memorable Quotes Edit

Pre-guest Segment Edit

  • Best moments from the show in 2013 suggested by Clyde
    • Clip #1: Julianne Moore interview (took 10 tequila slammers and became unresponsive. "Jullianne? Julianne? Don Jon?" Did a backflip and stuck the landing)
    • Clip #2: James Cromwell falls asleep on air. Smiles while he sleeps, Sean sings a lullaby to him. Tucks him into his blanket, gives him his little night hat (made him mad). Leaves him a little note. "Dear Jimmy, Hope you're having a nice sleepies. What a nice interview. Please lock the door on your way out. And give my best to Julianne!"
    • Clip #3: Sly Stallone gets his hand stuck in a honey jar
    • Clip #4: Sean karate chops Engineer Brett during the knockout game in the studio.

Guest Segment Edit

  • The guys want the listeners to get to see the "Notes" process.
  • Brian is Dr. Movies
  • Sean and Hayes originally called Hustle and Flow, Hustle and Bustle, until Brian suggested they change it. He suggested Hustle and Flo, with the saucy waitress character who was later spun off into the Progressive auto insurance commercial woman.
  • Table read of Teen Pope (suggestion by Toby Keith Sweat, who lives in Wisconsin of Kansas or some fucking trash state with a piece of shit life) (segment included in (a different) Best-Of Clip Show Ep. #084 - Moments of Greatness, Our Constant Companions)
    • Scene 1 - in Jason Attitude's house, lying on his bed listening to punk music (Green Day "Longview"). Reading a book about girls. Folks from the church show up, Father Silvio. An old man in robes and a bald head. Tells him he's Pope Attitude now. Bass slide sound cue.
    • Scene 2- Cut to interior, Sistine Chapel. Jason Attitude is given a tour of the chapel by Father Silvio. Discuss the mural on the ceiling, Jason made the painting of God anatomically accurate. Hundreds of his teenage friends come in and have the school dance in the chapel. Montage: grinding at the dance, one of the jocks spikes the punch, a nerd tastes it and is like "What the!?"
    • Page 62 - great chase scene around the fountain
    • 14 different montages: walking down the hall, all the wretched people (Attitude peels off his skin and says "Pee ew!")
    • Told his crush he is an atheist, catches him in his pope robes, defaces the shrine to maintain his ruse (Smash Mouth "I'm a Believer"). Wants to smear glue stick all over a statue. Father Silvio enters wearing his night shirt! Is oblivious to Jason's desires, decides to play along so Jason can get buried in the puss! His crush suggests they stab him, they do! The blood wipes to the next scene
    • Washing the blood of his hands, she comes in fully naked, fully see her sweet, sweet poon (it would be gay to see wood). Spreads her legs as wide as she can go and show every single bit of it, the camera goes all the way in (transition to the next scene:)
    • The tennis tournament, the state championship doubles match. The old Southern judge who is his tennis coach pulls him aside, doesn't know if has it in him to be a good Pope. (Cue Kings of Leon "Use Somebody"). Does a flip of his tennis racket, bounces the ball twice off the floor of the tennis court. Does the most amazing tennis move. Wins the tournament! "Thanks, Christ." The coach dies of cancer. Pope gets married to his girlfriend. "The poon's going to be even sweeter now that we're in a blessed union!"
    • Screen fade to black, title card appears reading "Popes should get married."
    • Great reel of (fully scripted) bloopers. (Mary J Blige "Get Ur Freak On" plays) Runner of peeing one's pants! "I dunno if I'm really cut out to be the poop.. whoa I mean pope!" Blooper runner like the hat in Cannonball Run with Dom DeLuise. Bloopers are much longer than the script. Robert Downey Junior does a lot of the bloopers, very expensive set pieces (Middle East, etc.)
  • Brian is setting up a bidding battle for this script, plans to take it overseas (that's where the money is).
  • Brian wrote this script but was able to give notes during this episode as if he's never seen it before! A great way to look at it objectively
  • Hemingway said "Write drunk, edit sober."
  • Brian's eco-porn script Green Fister is getting fast tracked. Cumberbatch is circling, Merchant, Idris, Dinklage, Melissa McCarthy are up for the lead male. Hayes turns the lights out when he leaves the room and cums in his pants. A real cum maker of a read. Milky white, too, no clear stuff. Full reserve. Thick as can be.

Recurring Segments Edit

  • Pro Version - Hunter - Brian makes a real meal out of his name, says it so he can get a charge out of it. 565 Hughes Rd., in PA, Most of the zip code is 1940_. The rest is a mystery!

Recurring Jokes Edit

  • Talking to the Engineer - encourages Brett to walk James Cromwell out to his car after he wakes up from sleepies. Is included in the knockout game
  • Blenjamin - helped put together to the notes packet that was passed along to Brian. Carmellica did the lights for te video portion
  • Too Scary - some Frankensteins, a mummy, and some vampires ("THESE FRANKENSTEINS AND VAMPIRES ARE SO SCARY") show up and start break-dancing in the bloopers
  • Flyover States - Toby Keith Sweat lives in Wisconsin or Kansas or some fucking trash state with a piece of shit life
  • Hayes Plays a Song
    1. Green Day "Longview"   
    2. Smashmouth "I'm a Believer" (Monkees Cover)
    3. Kings of Leon "Use Somebody"
    4. Mary J Blige "Get Ur Freak On"
  • Doing a Scene - Teen Pope
  • Speak on That - "Hey Brian, can you speak on this? Why does this part stink so much"? is a good way of giving a note

Ads Edit

  • Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project (read by Andy)

Episode Photos Edit