Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend

Episode

35

Release Date

June 3, 2014

Episode Guide
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David Wain, Our Close Friend	John Cochran, Our Close Friend

"Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend" is the thirty-fifth episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

Earwolf Synopsis[]

Hayes and Sean start off the show talking about their love of French films with a French documentary crew in-studio and do a segment where they explore how different music can change the tone of a movie scene. Then, the guys bring in the first person signed to their record label, Mikal Cronin, for a special musical episode where they talk about Neil Young and Leonardo Da Vinci’s adventures. Also, is Engineer Cody stealing cable from the Earwolf studio? Tune in to find out.

Notes & Memorable Quotes[]

Pre-Guest Segment[]

Sean talking over the theme: So I turned to Michael Chiklis and I go..."It's supposed to be TWO rooms" and he goes, well I just thought it'd be easier if we did it like a couples massage, because we had the same time appointment. And I was like, "Nice try" and I walked out. Hayes asked if he got his money back, to which sean replied he didn't care about that but he was still tense
Hayes said 'Welcome to the ROUGE carpet lined backed hallways of this industry we called showbiz' instead of red, because they have a documentary crew from France in the studio today."Kwell excitement!"
Hayes and Sean LOVE French films (Prounounced Fraunche feeelms). Trufleau and Bruno, The Surprising Friend and Good Yard, La Mise on Place, Y Tu Mamá También
French films are the daddy of movies and American is the rebellious teen

Annececile — Screenshot of Anne-Cécile Genre's website describing the project in which she filmed the show

Hayes and Sean begin talking to one of the French documentarians (Anne-Cécile Genre with director Xavier Bladot, making a 1 hr documentary called LA: City of Cinema for French TV network Orange Cinéma Séries (OCS)) but it doesn't seem like she understands what they're saying because she keeps speaking in a different language saying such words as 'Bonjour' and a word that sounded eerily similar to orange (pronounced orangueh). Sean then mentions that maybe she was trying to comment on the color of Hayes' shirt and Hayes clarifies it's blue (pronouned BLUUEH) not orangueh... Bluueh!
Hayes asks if their film is in color and the documentarian says that it is. Sean asks if the color is orange (you know from before) and mentions that comedy is like the universal language. If you read in science book, you'll see that a smile is the easiest way to do it
Today is the Music episode, and as much as Hayes and Sean love Films they also love music, especially when it's in film. A lot of music criticism comes from not knowing where to look or you don't see anything, and Hayes disagrees and enjoys music alone. Sean actually disagrees with Hayes and says that that's why he ONLY like music in film. Hayes mentions he should pick up a flower and look at that while he is listening to music, but Sean says that he can't because his arm would get tired. Hayes doesn't have that issue because his arms are pretty strong.
Hayes and Sean do a scene from DaVinci's Demons on Starz without the music to demonstrate how different that same scene will be with music played over
1. This first time without music it was very scary and dry however once music was added the scene was noticeably different even though it was the EXACT same.
2. (Hayes plays Fountains of Wayne "Stacy's Mom") The second scene seemed much happier this go around, kinda like a party or barbecue it was a great lesson in film making.
3. (Shania Twain "You're Still the One") They do the same scene with a different musical track and it's even more different then the last two times this go around it was almost romantic.
4. (Limp Bizkit "Break Stuff") Hayes and Sean decide to do another just to see if that same scene will continue to appear different and this time it didn't change much it still had a kinda sad overtone. It did feel a little different, but not much.

Guest Segment[]

Sean talking over the theme: "So I stand up to go to the bathroom and Bobby Duval was sitting behind us the whole time, and Nickelson is mortified you know? because he didn't mean to say those stuff about Lonesome Dove being bullshit. Hayes mentions it was all fake, and Sean clarifies it was all fake! it's why it didn't happen!
Hayes and Sean met Mikal Cronin on the way out of Cochella when they were about to buy some lemon almonds. As they were purchasing them, they heard one of Mikal's songs and it caught their attention. He was a weird looking boy playing an instrument he made out of a tissue box,a rubber band, and a pencil, the sound was weird, and his look wasn't right. But he had something.
Hayes and Sean want to sign Mikal to be their first artist on their label, Gojira Records
It's not neccesarily the music Hayes and Sean are interested in (because he's not really selling a lot of music at the moment) they're more in it for the face and bods. The only people that really are selling music nowadays are: Billy Joel, Neil Young, Mary J. Blige, 112, and Jodeci. The one thing they have in common is as Mikal puts it 'They look good' but Sean quickly jumps in to say to not be shy, and says you want to fuck them, they're fuckable. Mikal doesn't want to say it, but Hayes and Sean press him and say they need him to
Mikal says Neil Young has been looking good for like 40 years, at least, and old distinguished man now. Mikal says he would fuck Neil Young. Which really tells Sean he thinks Mikal has a future in the music business
When Hayes looks at Mikal he notices he has bugs all over him, his hair is in shredded tatters, almost like bits of rope, but he believes they can turn him into a Neil Young type that people are interested in fucking
Mikal has mentioned he wants to write and perform songs, but Hayes and Sean try to steer him away from that direction. Ever since Sean Connery mispronounced "An Album Cover" as "Anal Bum Cover" on Celebrity Jeopardy, it's really hard for musicians
Hayes and Sean surprse Mikal by landing him a gig scoring the soundtrack to DaVinci's Demons on Starz. The demons are two demons on his shoulders where one tells him what to paint and one tries to trick him not to paint
Mikal has to borrow Hayes' guitar to play the song, and he immedaitely begins to show off, Hayes asks him not to do guitar tricks
Note: The following bit was included in Ep. #084 - Moments of Greatness, Our Constant Companions Best-Of Compilation Episode
Hayes and Sean give notes for Mikal to make music for the performance behind the scene where DaVinci just woke up and he's about to have his eggs and bacey and do his painting and a devil is going 'hey.. cut that out' so they need a transition from a happy morning song to a scary demon song. The guys ask him to stop as he uses some language that they're not used to on Starz (singing "You can't paaaint.... bullsh*t man!"). They really mention how his look is.. not good.
Mikal is disheartened by the gig of soundtrack scoring, saying that he thought he would be writing his own music and doing bigger things, to which Sean says what he is saying fits perfectly into the Ehh... Wrong! segment of the show
The next scene Hayes and Sean want Mikal to perform for is the big bicycle race. They're going to need Mikal to play "Shine" from Collective Soul. Mikal doesn't know the song so he makes something up on the spot. The next scene is where Lance has passed DaVinci and DaVinci has a big cramp. Sean mentions that it was almost pretty good
The last scene is where DaVinci won the spelling bee, and his dad (the headmaster) is there with the trophy and across the way he see's 'the girl' and it's of course Marie Antoinette and he's looking at her and a demon is coming to punch her right in the stomach. So kinda a victorious thing then a nice thing where he's with his dad and a romantic thing where he sees the girl.
- They ask Mikal if he knows "Come Monday" by Jimmy Buffett, "Inside Out" by Eve 6, "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates, that song by the Refreshments (editors note: he's trying to think of "Banditos"), and he doesn't. "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons and Mikal doesn't know that song. Sean asks if he knows "Bubble Toes" the Jack Johnson song, and Mikal doesn't even know that. Sean asks if he knows "Love Fool" by The Cardigans, to which Mikal actually does know, but Sean has a better one: "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer and Mikal does know that one, so he finally performs that song
- Then when the demon is coming up to punch the girl Mikal plays the Mission Impossible theme for like 2 seconds
Hayes and Sean then say what a great performance Mikal did and criticize all the autotune now today.
Hayes and Sean can't do the popcorn gallery because Mikal is music and not movies, but Mikal pitches the Rockcorn Gallery, to which they can't use because Mikal said it and not them, even though it's really fuckin' good and it's the best shit they've ever heard. It's fucking awesome. A snack you eat at the concert, that's fucking great.

Recurring Segments[]

Pro Version - CORPSEFUCKER SHITLORD - Prize is a little song about his name from Mikal Cronin. (a little riff from Under Pressure then saying his name) They had to re-do it because Mikal tried to change the name to CorpseLover Shitlord instead of CorpseFucker Shitlord

Recurring Jokes[]

Talking to the Engineer - Sean asks Engineer Cody if he's taking pictures of the film crew, and he says yes. Hayes is taken aback and asks again, Cody then says no, that he is in fact taking pictures of everybody. Hayes doesn't believe him and demands to see the camera. (Cody makes some kind of sound like he was handing over the camera) and Hayes says to stop and let him see the camera. Sean and Hayes then don't understand to turn on the camera, but then finally get it to turn on. Hayes see's that there is indeed pictures of everybody except Sean. Sean is then surprised and then mentions that he noticed there is a lot more pictures of Hayes lately then of him. Hayes refuses to speak on that, and Sean mentions that if it's a money issue he's got some of that sweet doughseph that he can slide Cody's way too.
- Hayes and Sean later have to criticize Cody for just shaking his head when asked if he likes lemon almonds. He should answer not just shake his head. Cody then replies No
- Someone interrupts the show, and it was the Time Warner guy, Hayes and Sean accuse Cody of stealing cable. Cody doesn't have a house but they already know his plan of wiring cable to the elevator and putting a TV in there, and sleeping/living in the elevator. Cody denies this by saying No but Hayes and Sean know he's lying. It's all very embarassing to the French documentary crew.
Speak on That - Indirectly mentioned when Hayes refuses to speak on the fact that there have been more pictures of him lately then of Sean
- Mikal mentioned that it's a tough business out there right now for record labels and Sean and Hayes ask him to speak on that. With things like Napster and YouTube it's hard to sell records with it all being out there for free. Limewire. And Oinkster too (nasty business). Even the Piratebay. It's hard to make bucks
Hayes Plays a Song
1. Fountains of Wayne "Stacy's Mom"
2. Shania Twain "You're Still the One"
3. Limp Bizkit "Break Stuff"
4. Sixpence None the Richer "Kiss Me" (Mikal Cronin cover)
Homoeroticism - DaVinci often invites his demon back to the boudoir
Hamburger Sandwich - DaVinci not only enjoys eggs and bacey in the morning but also a nice hamburger sandwich
Too Scary - Much talk throughout the entire eoisode about scary demons from DaVinci's Demons